Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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