All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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