"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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