i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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