Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
