Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
