we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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