Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
