do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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