Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
