Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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