K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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