he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
