I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
