problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's never too late to be topless.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
