I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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