He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
