Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
