I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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