Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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