My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
