dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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