Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
