Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm really busy with my period
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