We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
