It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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