do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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