one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
