I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
