SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
