So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
