I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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