Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I miss vodka workout Fridays
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
