Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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