I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
