10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
