Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
