how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize