OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
