i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
