Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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