Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
