..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize