I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
