got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
