Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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