My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
