We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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