i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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