so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
