im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
