You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
