By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
