If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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