Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
