ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
