DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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