You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
