Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you traded sex for a burrito?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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